I was experiencing so much physical pain and had created a lot of unhealthy situations in my life. A lot of it stemmed from over giving, taking on responsibility for others, unhealthy boundaries and repressed emotions. At the time, I didn’t have awareness of who I am and lived according to my conditioning.

I am extremely curious, have a unique way of experiencing life and a need to learn through experience. I thrive when I have the space and freedom to play with life. My learning process includes trial and error, which means I have to give myself permission to experiment, try things out without getting attached, close cycles when I determine it’s not for me and most importantly “fail.” It’s how I master things, make sense of our world and figure out what works for me and what doesn’t. 

Obviously, this is outside the norm and isn’t accepted nor nurtured in our society. We live in a world that pushes you to show results, succeed at all cost and to commit to one thing or one way. In this world of duality, we’re always being forced to choose or pick a side. This conflict between who I am and what others expected, often caused a lot of friction in my life. 

I’d created an unconscious pattern of suppressing my natural inclinations and desires in attempts to “fit in.” I also carried a lot of shame around those innate aspects of myself of learning through error or closing cycles when I determine something is not aligned. No matter what I truly wanted, I was incapable of speaking my truth, upholding boundaries and made choices according to what was “right” or expected in my family, career and society.